Days of my Life #16

Breakfast was filling if nothing else; shredded wheat and oat milk with a touch of dark brown sugar and some “why bother” decaf. I have already begun my day by perusing the news and email. Yuck!

Even the travel ads are having the “How can I get excited by armchair excursions?”challenge. Just the other day I received a tantalizing invite to travel to Spain and Portugal with a group of cutting-edge science/history/comparative religion nerds (that may not seem sexy to you- but those peeps and their suggestive haunts really turn me on), only to be cock-blocked by the first page on their website reminding everyone about possibilities of date change/cancellation due to covid. Cold shower time.

Even though I’m guarding myself for another disappointment, I’ve been preparing to rev up for the election with new insoles for my block-canvassing sneakers, extra sunscreen, all-natural insect repellent, “go-blue” hat and my selection of socially responsible tee shirts. I suppose I’ll have to wear something like pants or shorts, that is if we’re not still in lockdown or the slug who would be king declares martial law and usurps our elections. If need be, I can always do bottomless virtual block walking, but that’s TMI!

It’s time like these I wish I’d paid more attention to the crystal ball gazing class I took back in the eighties. Of course if I could’ve foretold the future then I probably would’ve divorced husband #1 sooner, definitely wouldn’t have married husband #2, would’ve moved to the south of France or Barcelona or at the very least, Portland and might’ve taken controlling interest in Amazon to make it a socially responsible company. Oh well, hindsight, but then it is really 2020.

I, like so many others, am finding so much time to reflect, to imagine and then locate the remote or iPad charger. I’ve made a bunch of masks, calls to friends & politicians, signed online petitions and donated to food banks, yet I’m still wondering with all this time on my hands I might do something more worthwhile, like create a “why didn’t someone think of this yet?” cure for cancer or world hunger or homelessness or war or joblessness or global climate change!

I am reminded of the adage “every cloud has a silver lining”. While we don’t have cures for the above specific woes, we have the possibility/opportunity to look at them with new eyes. Years ago, my dear friend and teacher, Aristhaia Cash, goddess rest her soul, said, “Most homes have a front door and a back door and usually a few windows -yet most of us mainly use one door to enter and exit and a favorite window by which to regard our outside world. But what about the other door/s and windows? What view/s are we missing? Do we need a skylight? How is the foundation?” Her wise words have served as a reminder that I’ve gotta look everywhere for answers because the predictable views don’t always have the total picture. Its not even the point of fake news as it is limited news, just who’s paying for it and what is their agenda?

To be a critical thinker one must exercise their skills of investigative discernment. A sort of treasure hunt for real, unabridged truth, which these days is a full time job, given the internet and people who only read headlines then spout off with their minimal information and apparent lack of deep thought.

Am I being hypercritical or just unrealistic in thinking we’ve gotta be better than this? Perhaps, then again I’m reminded at just who is running our state/country/world into the polluted ground.

Oh dear! Now I wanna escape to the land of oohs and aahs where I can be spoon fed deep dark chocolate lava cake with vanilla bean ice cream after having a long and oh so sensuous massage by a geeky, creative, straight hunk who whispers sweet everythings into my ear.

Alas, these sorts of brief fantasies are short lived in these times of virus. I’ve finished the cup of decaf and I’d better go take the dog for a walk.

Tune in.

Day 8 – Heading to London. For more theraphi

Our day yesterday was fairly mellow…except I came down with a rotten case of laryngitis/sore throat/general crappiness. A perfect way to leave Germany. Not. I had hoped today would afford me time to visit some old haunts, alas I’m drinking hot tea, wearing a hot towel over my face when I’m not plunking away on the ole iPad or napping. Travel with the yuck ain’t no fun…yes it ain’t no fun when at home as well.

Soon my dear friends will drive me to Basel airport and I shall board an easy jet bound for Gatwick. I have been so fortunate to have dear ones who have schlepped me hither and yon. They made this trip much easier than had I done the car rental or train thing, especially now when I am feeling poorly but also the toll of this emotional journey.

From the window of our Airbnb I can see the green rolling hills of the Black Forest. I would’ve liked dipping my toes in the mineral baths here, alas that is not to be, at least for this trip. And I am unsure if I will venture exactly this way again. The only reason I used to travel to the area was to spend precious time with my friend/teacher/sister from another mother, who no longer is on this plane of existence. Perhaps I need to scream from a mountain …or cry more, but I really don’t have the wherewithal so I won’t.

I have made a couple appointments in London this week to have Theraphi treatments, then either home to austin or a quick stop in NYC. It will all depend on how I feel and what is the easiest shortest flight with miles available.

I just got a text from Ursula who is bringing soup to my sick self. Good friends are hard to find. When you’ve got em, let them know they are loved and appreciated. More tomorrow.

Mother – Nature, knows best.

I’m in recovery from last night’s and this past morning’s wedding celebrations…you may have read a bit about this in my previous missive. I actually drank a half a glass of Ouzo…to help me sleep which worked to make me crave licorice sticks but did nothing to make me snooze. For those of you who know me well, well I don’t, as a rule, drink anything other than tea, chocolate, water or smoothies. Hell, I was determined to sleep. What can I say? Like most times when I try to disturb the natural order of my body’s desire to sleep, the ouzo, did nada.

20130827-051916.jpgMy roomie, Meike and I dragged ourselves out of our respective beds, gulped tea (she) and cocoa (me) and headed via taxi to Molyvos or, as it is also know as Mithymna …where the head of Orpheus is said to have been washed ashore after his dismemberment of the Thracian women. Another mythical citizen of Mithymna was the lyric poet and musician Arion – Word has it he was saved (from what?) by the music-loving dolphin….gotta see one. Anyway, we climbed into Dymitri’s taxi and wound our way over the mountains, past countless olive trees (the island’s known for it) and quite a few empty homes for sale from Kalloni to Molyvos.

Yes, Greece has had a tough time steadying their legs from the seasick economy – where are the dolphins when we need them? I am amazed at the resilience of these wonderful people…it does my heart good to witness their smiles, to be given such authentic hugs, even when I understand they have been through very rough economic seas… And I do hope the tide has changed for the better, since the Greeks are one helluva inspiration for anyone who has experienced the phone call from a collection agency … like swimming with hungry sharks. I’m rich with metaphor today, having been a bit dinghy from the previous nights. O’henry where art thou?

Financial economy aside, In the warmth of my new friends here, the riches abound. Their spirits, as mine sing with the healing sounds of birds and cicadas, morning and night. This morning I looked up into the eaves outside our room to watch tiny birds dive bombing wasps and larvae out of the nests housed above me …And to think I thought of asking the hotel staff to destroy these same nests…the balance of nature is delicate…Why do humans (myself included) want to fuck it up?

And here, again, I am reminded of our messing with the all-encompassing natural order of things. The birth, life and decay of all things living both fascinate and terrify us. Our reactions to the cycle of life range from the sublime – our “oohs and aahs” when a baby is born – to the ridiculous – “Hand me the hair-dye” freak out at aging. Its silly aint it? How we inject drugs to slow down our disease and decay, later to embalm our dead bodies, burying ourselves in airtight coffins, rather than let nature take its course. You may disagree about the drugs. Whatever.

So much of the bizarre occurs within the cycle of life, with we “civilized” humans attempting to continue to control the outcome. Our usual MO is to point the finger when we have messed up, rather than take responsibility and rectify the situation. Here I am sorely reminded of the harm of genetic modification, pesticides, herbicides, predatory lending and even prescription drugs…yes, you read that right, all drugs mess with nature. Food IS our best medicine and yet spray it with shit/chemicals that kills us? That’s messed up.

The distortion of our need to control our personal and collective destiny is far beyond my own hippie, eco-warrior cause of the day; it extends to the great fears that motivate us to listen to and believe our corporate and political dictators blasting contradictory directives over our newly purchased Androids and iPads. These fears can compel us to overdraw our bank accounts, purchasing crap we then must buy storage space to put it in, placing us further in debt, only to sell on Ebay for far less than it was worth when we originally vowed to use it regularly, or worse we can purchase homes we know deep down are completely unaffordable. We, in our attempt to stave our fears by consuming, may be decaying from our own modern day consumption and this ain’t a pretty possibility.

However, Conscious Language master, Bob Stevens says, “our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength.” Perhaps our desire for fulfillment can now be recognized as a means to discover what will truly nourish us. Maybe we have had to lose our “debt filled houses” to discover the importance of building sustainable loving homes. To lose our “dead-end, low pay jobs” to discover our true livelihood. To lose our health insurance, and become well beings.

In the process of all this morass of fear, it is “easy” to point fingers at everyone else- the media, doctors, corporations, politicians…but is that truly helpful? Heck, it ain’t even productive. And waiting for dolphins (or anyone else) to rescue us may take longer than we may hope.

The state of the Greek people and economy is a wonderful time for us to look carefully, taking steady and deep breaths, into our own lives and habits. We are all (smiling and unsmiling Greeks included) being given a sort of golden opportunity to look inward at what truly motivates us, to embrace change and chart our own course. As my sweet Max Middleton said and hopefully with his permission, I shall paraphrase, “Change is inevitable. Embrace it as a sacred and natural act.” One has only to look at the tiny birds with the wasp nest in the eaves above to see, nature does indeed know best.