Days of my Life #21

Howdy. It’s a beautiful day here in Austin, Texas. I can hear the birds singing praises of the delightful weather, outside, all around me. What could possibly disturb this idyllic setting? Could it be the incessant drone of our brand new, high efficiency hvac system that has gone bonkers? Yep.

I noticed late this morning that it was more than chilly in my part of the house, so I did what any hvac savvy woman would do, I immediately went to the control panel to adjust the temp. What’s that? Yes, I did find there was a warp in the air conditioning matrix. The panel kept resetting itself from 73 degrees to 64, but the thermostat kept showing the room felt like 43!

“Yowsers! That’s just a teensy bit warmer than the fridge!” thought I, as I went back to bed, added a blanket and took a nap, but that didn’t last. Still chilly I considered that the cold could be good for resetting my metabolism, then thought better of it.

Did I mention I’d now put on a sweater and was no longer curious as to why I was still shivering? No? Well I didn’t, but now I have. I thought, “screw this, I’m calling the experts!” Thus began my descent into the underworld of Warranty Madness. If I knew enough about the technical aspects of inserting a little horror effects recording here I would. I’ll just do my best to describe my experience.

My initial call for help. Picture me with teeth chattering, waiting until the answering service for Stan’s transferred me to a human, a woman whose name my frozen brain forgot immediately after she had announced who she was. I described the problem. Again. Then again. Then again. Until I was warming up but only to being Aggravated and Angry.

“Okay, I think I’ve got that right. You’ve set your temp to 64 but it says 73.” She said, which I corrected her, then she repeated what I had said only again transposed the temperatures and I needed to correct her again, now fuming, as I moved outside so my teeth would stop chattering. “Okay, I’ll have someone call you.”were her last words.

And someone did call me, an hour, and a half and two sweaters later.

It is now several hours since the repair person’s initial call. I expect him any moment…And by the way, in case you’re wondering where I am right now? It’s just after 3pm. I’m outside in the pleasant 78 degree shade, the sweaters are in a heap by the door. I’m briefly going inside to get an iced tea.

Ah, that’s better. Isn’t it funny how a bit of refreshment can slightly alter one’s attitude? I’m going to do my utmost to remain calm in the face of frozen adversity. I am also reminding myself, over and over, that I am acting like an entitled dweeb, complaining about my being cold because my ass is temporarily frozen (without the benefit of reduced dress size).

Actually it is extremely pleasant outside where I am currently writing and there are a ton of wonderful people risking their lives to help others during this global health crisis.

I’m going to just shut the fuck up, grin and bear it, until the repair guy who is coming to sort things out arrives. If all else fails I can sleep outside tonight where it will be slightly warmer than 46 degrees. Okay I’m done.

I’m going to hug a puppy.

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