I looked in the mirror a few minutes ago and was shocked at the resemblance of my current hair color to what I remember of my maternal grandmother’s curly coif when she had used a bluing agent to un-yellow her gray. Chuckles of irony emanated from deep within me. Or were they gasps of horror? I suppose a bit of both.
The passage of time has always fascinated me. I never thought I’d be an “old” person, which may be the reason it took me to be well into my sixties when I finally stopped dying my hair brown -to let my freak-gray fly. And now anything goes…since the reason I was bemused at my “funny, you look bluish!” reflection is that I had intentionally put a blue/purple rinse on my now graying hair! I’m certain my OGM is guffawing in the great beyond.
She was a very cool grandmother, (save the fact that her second husband was orthodox Jewish and made her life hell), who was a creative and playful artist (except when she had to slave for the fanatic). At the time I wondered how she had been hoodwinked by the davening-Tallis-wearing overlord, since everyone in our family had been progressive-reform I.e. lox and bagel on Sunday with the occasional bacon and eggs, Jews) but later I understood how grief (for my OriginalGFather) messed up her mind, making her do crazy ass shit, like marrying husband #2, until she eventually died of a brain aneurysm. I still miss her. She taught me things like copper enameling, baking coffee cake and designing costumes and Barbie clothes.
After my sweetheart died I too did things (fortunately not marrying a fanatic) which included allowing people to take advantage of my period of mourning. I had opened my home up to persons I never would’ve had my head not been so full of endless tears and I being a generous/hippy soul. I was fucked up and I didn’t even have to use legal or illegal substances to do it. One might think I was just plain dumb/naive/gullible to have been hoodwinked by those I’d lent a helping hand (and money) and in many ways I was, but when I consider how some people are reacting to our current global trauma I think, “Naw people just do crazy shit all the time, and now it’s just coming out in an epic-disaster-movie big-ass way”!
I know I’ve mentioned in previous bits of mental regurgitation that we, in some ways, “create our own reality”, but the current realities of some are so off-kilter it has provoked my questions as to why?
1. Is it easier to make a scapegoat of one (like bill gates) or more persons (biochemists) when the disease is in fact not a person? (even though yes, it is a person’s icky-virus-infused saliva falling in tiny droplets everywhere.)
2. Are there evil forces (I.e. corporate/government bad guys or off planet aliens) at work, wanting to cull the herd of the sick or aged, to make money off the dead and the living? Or is it that the virus is smarter than the numbnuts running things?
3. How much time will elapse before either the desperate or the suspicious (or both) pick up their penis compensators to do untold harm on innocent, well-meaning citizens who want to do the best for their friends, family and neighbors by flattening the curve and enabling the medical establishment to do whatever the fuck they can do to heal the afflicted?
4. Why do we have knuckleheads running the USA?…oh wait, I know because of Trumpublissians who, rather than MAGA are fucking up things big time..
5. Is the enemy us?
6. Why aren’t antivirals on the top of the list, rather than herd immunity vaccines, since viruses, as I said are smart fucking shape shifters, adapting to the terrain in their trip up and down the food chain? Could I be just taking a guess, there’s more money to be made in the vaccine industry? Or it’s a possibility we might get microchipped like our dogs? I fucking don’t know, and the thought of this makes me shake in my clogs.
And my list goes on, but you could add your own questions, since my brain is scrambling again, though you can’t really see it through my blue curly hair. Today I’m going to take a walk then make art. With that I leave you to go about your business. Enjoy the shows.
Tune in.
Janet Bernson 