Days of my Life#3

Good morning. Today I slept in. Therefore I am in a different state of mind than previously reported. Is this a good thing? It’s debatable as I have more distractions than I have in the wee hours of the morning, before my deaf lab barks, my daughter’s lab who can hear, chimes in-incessantly for breakfast and my grandson begins his habitual tirade. Believe it or not, I am surprisingly calm which may be due to my current location, seated on a comfy big chair adorned with planets, in seclusion in the corner of my semi-attached MIL apartment. One might say I am on an upholstered throne in my own universe. Yes, I can spin just about anything when required.

Unfortunately I’m yet unable to find a positive spin on our current politically rancid cassoulet…I always err on the side of French food when describing something I’m not quite sure how to describe. I mean just what the hell is in cassoulet and what do you mean it can be cooking for years? Were I to have something on the stove for longer than, let’s say twenty minutes on low, my fire alarm would go off and we’d be either evacuating or opening and closing the doors to let the smoke out. Hmmm come to think of it, could I try my Instant Pot to make cassoulet? But as usual I digress. Our political system is deeply unhinged as is our president.

Where was I? Oh, you mean before a neighbor brought back the dog who can hear who just decided moments ago he should take an independent roam in our hood? Well I’m back too and seated once again in comfort gazing at the planets at my feet. Did I mention the throne has a matching ottoman?

I’m contemplating the rest of my day which now lies before me like a smorgasbord of delights. FYI, I’m being sarcastic. I already managed to sweep up the dust doggies (I’m allergic to cats)my formerly, now currently, known as beautiful floor. I get 5 points on the household chores chart. Whoopee.

Later I will dive into the hamper to insert laundry, which mostly consists of muddy towels and rugs (“when you lie down with dogs…especially after the rain”) into the washing machine and scoop handmade (aren’t I a diy maven?) detergent into the appropriate drawer, to ultimately push the button on “beat senselessly on the pretend rocks by the river of woe is me” button. Then I will make a cup of “Why Bother Decaf Espresso” and read my email from fans near and wide whose names resemble those of politicians & non profits who are very concerned about my health and by the way, can you spare a measly $$$ while the earth is a fucked up reality show? Oh, yes I occasionally get something worth reading, but mostly I’m pushing “delete”, or getting depressed, or both.

I might send an email or two, if spirit wills me. Then the dryer for the rugs and towels but not before extracting the gobs of dog hair from lint traps, blech! All this germaphobia which we are catching is making me repel from every WTF’g piece of dirt! The world got a virus and I’ve become a paranoid germaphobe, who knew?

After all the above I’m going to meditate for twenty-two and one half minutes because that number just popped into my head, so I’ll just go with it,

Perhaps later, after lunch of fromage and pain… I’ll go out to the garden and survey the weeds and thank the fire ants for staying in their little corner, and take a six foot apart, dressed in full mask/glove/hat regalia, walk with one of my friends whilst we discuss soup and dogs and family and willfully try to put a positive spin on things. Tune in.

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