LALALAND here I come…right back where I started from

I’m sitting at Austin Bergstrom airport at gate 13. My flight leaves in an hour. I have neither purchased a barbecue sandwich at Salt Lick, nor a triple decker icecream cone from Amy’s. I have not bought a Keep Austin Weird tee shirt though I am somewhat tempted to buy a shocking pink tee shirt for Carlos (one of my adult “kids”…don’t ask, its too long an explanation) that says Don’t Mess with Texas Women and a bottle of ass kicking hot sauce. Instead I have purchased a Texas sized apple (delicious) and a bottle of 5,000 year old Icelandic water (hey that’s how old it says on the bottle). I asked the cashier “how come the bottle is $5?” She shrugged her shoulders, telling me the other brands cost less, but this one was better. Cheaper than the tee shirt and the hot sauce. I laid my money down. The apple was only $2. Such a deal.

Sitting in the terminal, waiting, is the perfect opportunity for Scotch/Jewish/retired persons Movies. Yeah, for those of you who detest racist remarks, think of me as a quasi female Lenny Bruce and get over it, besides I’m Jewish and cheap, over 60, I love Scotland and this is one great form of entertainment…watching people while waiting for da plane and only paid for refreshments. Besides I am not prone to insulting anyone for their monetary shortcomings.

Observation is my game here. Let’s see what I can see.

A 30-something half-starved looking guy in a death metal tee shirt is sitting across the aisle from me and is scarfing down a humongous piece of pizza like its the first thing he’s eaten in 24 hours. It could be he’s a binge eater. Oops he just got up and is running down the hallway. Guess he needed the pizza-fuel to propel him to his gate. Hope he makes it.

Seated next to me…a couple preteen boys are reading comic books…real ones. Do my eyes deceive me? No, wonder of wonders they are not using iPads. Shhhsh, they are speaking with accents, i think they are Kiwis… from new zealand, not the fruits. Aha, that they are from Down Under may explain it…they have not yet been hooked on electronics. I’m hiding my tablet from them. I refuse to infect them. Besides, I don’t want them to know they are subjects of my editorial observation. On all sides there area people texting, playing games and talking on phones. Do you remember when people actually spoke with one another about useless stuff while they waited for the bus/ferry/plane ? These boys are an anomaly I fear.a href=”https://janetbernson.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/20130920-160443.jpg”>20130920-160443.jpgWhat’s this? A middle aged woman has removed everything from her Carryon and has arranged it over three seats. I’m not looking too carefully, but everyone who isn’t fully engrossed in their phone conversation, is. She is now repacking, but is not folding a thing. Strange. If I were going to empty the contents of my suitcase in front of perfect strangers I’d want to look f’g neat as I repacked. But now she cannot close the case. They are starting to board Group D for her flight. I see her looking furtively for help…no, wait she’s got it and she’s running, boarding pass in mouth to the attendant taking tickets. Preparation is obviously not one of her strong suits.

Aside. I think the next form of travel may be when we are encapsulated, fitted with headset/goggles entertaining us moment to moment, hooked up to tubes which feed us fast-food glop and shot through a tube to our appointed destination. We won’t have to talk with a single person.

Oh oh, it’s my flight being announced. I shall write more on board, unless I fall asleep (doubtful) or get an interesting seat-mate. I’ll let you know.

I boarded my flight early since I have the priority thingie stamped on my ticket. This enabled me to watch as every single person seated beyond me bump my seat with amazing accuracy. The layout of the plane was 2 seats on one aisle side, 3 on the other. I contemplated whether this might alter the way the pilot flew the plane, to compensate for the heavier weight on one side. Then, as if the heavens were fueling my question further… a guy the size of the biggest sumo wrestler in Japan’s history got prepared to sit down in the seat across the aisle from me. This could’ve been really bad for Lil’ ole me, except he had the window seat…for his average sized seat mates this was not so good. I watched him unpack his snacks as I stood on my side of the aisle waiting for my seat mate on this very full flight. I got distracted from my questions of righting a lopsided plane, as the cabin got filled and the seat bumping decreased.

My seat buddy, six foot sumthin’ K.C. from Seattle, (if you’re out there and reading this, here’s your 2 minutes of speed reading fame) was the ideal seat mate…he folded into the window seat next to me managing to avoid banging his head on the overhead compartment. (At a staggering 5’4″ I was able to whack my thick skull twice!- I got talent). We conversed about meaningful stuff like world peace, environmental concerns, and quality leather bags (hey a good leather bag will last a lifetime – well, perhaps on a bull it could last longer if it lived to not be a burger – so glad I’m vegan…who loves leather). We also snapped some pix of the amazing view outside, have a look see… 20130920-160312.jpg
3++ hours of nonstop flying was uneventful (thankfully). I am now home, my wonderful doggies welcomed me home with wet kisses and yelps. I got on the floor and bathed in their furriness and whimpered and giggled back at them. Twenty minutes later, junk mail pitched, dirty laundry in hamper i brushed teeth and went to bed thinking I’d write. Wrong.

I’m awake now, still in my bed, having a moment, looking around. Five weeks of living out of a suitcase, scattering Maxie’s ashes, the love of my life gone with the wind, and meditating for the good of all. Observation. Perspective. Love. I’m glad to be home. My life is good. I’m taking my dogs for a walk.

3 thoughts on “LALALAND here I come…right back where I started from

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