It’s late and I just returned home from seeing Avengers End Game. My head is spinning with my own inner mantra: too many heroes, too many heroes. If you haven’t yet seen this movie but are planning on doing so, STOP reading. I don’t wish to be a ‘spoiler sport”, but I’ve gotta get something off my chest besides this uncomfortable, no underwire bra I’ve got underneath jacket, blouse…
Over my many years I’ve been loving me some comic books with Iron Man, Captain’s Marvel & America, Hulk/Banner,Thor, Hawkeye, Black Panther, and on and on but sheesh, its hard to keep up when they’re all in one movie, and i understand this one is to tie it all up, but for the multitudes of heavens sake, cram fewer in and give us something deep in which we can sink our teeth.
Now, believe it or not, I well understand the financial aspects of making blockbusters such as star, token character cameo and director/cinematographer/producer salaries, abundance of sound and visual FX, product placement, subsequent residuals, plus the good ten minutes of crediting everyone including the folk who spread mustard in craft services, the poor folk who man the honey wagons not withstanding.
All this movie did was make me fantasize about the ramifications if indeed there were super folk who might lend us a much needed helping hand.
Just Imagine: The right wing villains we have floating about wreaking havoc in our real world would actually get defeated by real life heroes and little puny hackers of any nationality (you do know about whom I speak) would have their signals blocked magically and permanently by Nebula and Doc Strange. Come to think of it, for that purpose we might need an entire cast of heroes similar to those in End Game. That would be good use of all those people (even with their salaries) with super powers, yes?
-Thor swingin his hammer and knocking the blocks off quite a few Republican senators who are trying to take over our Asgard. Transporting them to a planet where they have to grovel for sustenance. (Okay that’s mean, but its my fantasy).
-Capn America could perhaps drop into the Oval Office, put the orange one straight into an Orange jumpsuit, feed him overripe mangoes,(diarrhea enhancing) then catapult him into solitary cell in Guantanamo, leaving 45 to finally have to deal with his own shit without a golden commode.)
-A visit from Wonder Woman (yes DC and Marvel are partnering on this one) with her golden lasso might get ole Bill Barr to tell the Fucking Truth, summarily she’d then fly him in her crystal ship to an island off the coast of Somalia inhabited by pirates or if not that then plop him into a cell at Rikers.
-Ole Uncle Ben Carson gets a bite from Black Widow who outfits the former, (who actually trusted this nimrod into working on their brain anyway?) neurosurgeon, in second hand sweats, then deposits him in rat infested tenement housing, requiring him to reside there for a minimum of 10 years – to provide an extended understanding of the ramifications of his HUD misdeeds.
-Captain Marvel places a school uniformed Betsy DeVos in a new job as janitor in an underfunded inner city high school, with her prior yearly income given to needy families. She then zooms in to grab Kirsten Nielsen former Czarina of Homeland Security and places her in a small cage with only an emergency blanket and a box of 10 year old granola bars.
-SpiderMan, Antman and the Wasp tackle EPA’s both former and current Secretaries, Pruitt and Wheeler in a game of “We’re gonna bug you to bits” in which the two deniers of the importance of maintaining the health of our planet for our own damn good, are dropped onto a field which has just been overrun by beetles and locusts whose immunity to Monsantos sprays has made them somehow modified to only desire Republican flesh. Ouch, even that fantasy gives me the willies.
-The Hulk and Hawkeye, would be in charge of the rounding up the Secretaries of FDA, and Homeland Security – Between Banner’s mild manner and his Hulk’s contrasting large angry green, Hawkeye’s overactive desire for revenge…I’ll just leave that up to your vivid imaginations as to how that might play out.
Any of your favorites I’ve left out? The other infidels would have corresponding heroes to whisk them into appropriate no frills prisons. With those scoundrels in prison perhaps the department of corrections might well be able to free the many people wrongly accused, thus saving our country trillions while at the same time
locking up the pile of deserving miscreants.
Oh yes, the Supreme Court would be populated by compassionate members of the Avengers and X-men tribes, with zero tolerance for racism, sexism, elitism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, greed, pedophilia etc. Still, the head of the court would be Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
For all this we as a world would give many thanks and possibly bake cookies for those who have come to our aid.
Okay, that’s it. I’m done and now I’m going to bed. I wonder how my dreams will play out tonight. Probably far more mundane than the above.